#1 Spungen, D - Inte som andra döttrar (And I don't want to live this life)

Title: Inte som andra döttrar (originaltitle: And I don't want to live this life)
Author: Spungen, Deborah
Genre: Memoirs/Biography
Pages: 438
Language: Swedish
Time: about 8 hours


I have to start by saying that while I do love music (and aggressive music at that) I have never been a Sex Pistols fan, so I had no previous insight in the case of Nancy Spungen's life or death.
Sure, I've heard the name mentioned a few times, but never looked her up.
So there, I said it.
Onwards to the book itself.

I absolutely loved this book. Loved it.
I couldn't stop reading and hated that I had to when my Economics-class started.
My heart broke for all of the members of the Spungen family, but especially for Deborah and of course for Nancy.

For Deborah, because she tried and tried and tried to find someone who could explain to her what was wrong with her daughter, but never succeeding (at least not in time).
For having to suffer through everything Nancy put her and her family through.
For having her own daughter coming up to her and say, in all seriousness, that she wanted to die.
For the way she was treated by the police, the coroner and everyone else outside the family and friend's circle after Nancys death.

For Nancy, for never being completely understood.
For being born in a time when her situation could not be cured or explained.
For never being completely happy.
For being on the way to getting better at the school in Barton with the Bebees, but having that taken away because of the greed of companies wanting money.

I cried on more than one occasion (which, to be honest, was a little embarrassing considering I was sitting in the library most of the time I read the book), because of the way this book in detail explains how families with a mental illness are living.
I felt the pain of Deborah, who is unable to understand and help her daughter, the feeling of absolute helplessness.

In the end, I have no theories on wether or not Sid Vicious murdered his girlfriend, but I do think that Nancy Spungen was not afraid of dying.
If it was a suicide by other hand or murder, we'll never really know.
How I would have loved though, if her plans of getting the two of them into rehab would have come true.


This book gets a big fat 9/10!
If you haven't read it - do it!
If you have read it - read it again!

This book was recommended by Jenny Berggren.

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